Life’s not Fair—nor Is it Neat or Tidy



[“Danger Dumpster,” Somerville, MA, December, 2015]

I wish I could get the chance to sit down and talk with the white, middle-aged, nicely dressed, Subaru-driving man who, making a right turn onto Somerville Avenue from Park Street on Sunday morning, got so angry at me for crossing the avenue, furiously pointing towards the lit-up crosswalk signal’s red hand. Our little chat could happen over a cup of coffee, maybe, or a glass of beer or wine. Because he seemed civil in the truest sense of that word, meaning as a fairly decent fellow citizen. He did not run me over or curse me or give me the finger. No. He was indignant at my lack of civility, i.e. my callow disregard for The Code of Behavior Governing CrosswalksSo here’s what I would say:

“I know, I know. You’re right. That “Don’t Walk” ikon was clear as day. But you know something? So was I (clear as day, I mean). Our impromptu, urban encounter was in broad daylight. You saw me. You didn’t even need to slam on your brakes. I was an inconvenient presence in front of your already slow-moving car for, what? Two seconds, tops? Another thing I need for you to understand. I cross that intersection almost every day. So I know that particular walk signal is close-to-useless. It can take up to 10 minutes for the “walk” ikon to light up. So on a blustery Sunday morning with little to no traffic I chose to walk across the street without permission.

“Thank you for not running me over, by the way. I am very grateful.

“I startled you; that’s the real issue, here, I think. And just like most of us, especially while driving, you reacted with anger. I’m sorry I startled you. And hope that the next time you negotiate that turn, you’ll remember what I said about that damned crosswalk signal and be ready! 

“You seem like a pretty decent guy. But, I’m guessing from your righteous indignation that maybe you haven’t yet come to grips with a world that is cruel and gratuitously random and messy and unfair? Because it is.

“But maybe our little, no-harm-no-foul encounter will be an opportunity for you to begin to accept that? I hope so.”






Join the Conversation


  1. Dear Patricia,

    Hi, there, my For Always so, so very dearly special and dearly precious friend and sister who you are For Always so, so very much, Patricia!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!! Finally, I’m able to respond with my very heartfelt, thorough, and detailed comment-I’ve been just bursting with such eager anticipation to respond to your so very fantastic blog post article and I just could barely wait(SMILE!!!!!!). I wasn’t able to earlier but I’m so glad that I can now, sister! What a so very cool and so true to life blog post article this is for sure, my so very dearest friend! I’m like you, sister, in how I would have thought to cross just the way you did for sure, sisterfriend! I am with you in how that I think the driver probably overreacted, and I even wonder if a little road rage was going on-I wonder? Sometimes it seems like some people get so, so very annoyed, irritated, and upset over something so small, sister! I have had some drivers become upset with me when I cross because with my physical disabilities I move kind of in a slow and an awkward manner, Patricia! Wow, this blog post article is so wondrously wonderful-I so, so very much love and like how you so very well and in such very fine fashion apply your true life experiences into very beautiful and lovely blog post articles which For Always uplift and inspire me in such a greatly immense and blessed manner, Patricia!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!! Thank-you so, sister!!!!!!!!

    The title of this astounding blog post article just says it all so very well and perfectly complements your so very fine and cool writing here, sister. The picture is very sharp and in such a poignant manner also highlights this great article. I think of how life isn’t fair and how it also isn’t neat or tidy but life is still glorious in all of its beautiful imperfections because we have the Life which is our Living God with the gift and blessings of life which this Ever Living and Loving God has given to each and every one of us!!!!!!! I think that even with life’s troubles that life still has such a beauty and grace to it although I must admit that it can be difficult at times dealing with the unfairness of life and how life isn’t always neat or tidy(sometimes I wish that life would be for sure-SMILE!!!!!!!!). Sister, I feel so inspired, renewed, and uplifted by this very sparkling blog post article, and I feel as if I have received great spiritual blessings because of it, sister!!!!!!! Thank-you so, so much, Patricia!!!!!!! You, sister, and your very keen writings are just the very greatest and the very best, Patricia, my so very dear friend!!!!!!!!

    Sisterfriend, please have a totally terrific and a very thrilling Thursday, a wondrously wonderful weekend and rest of your week, and may all of your days be so, so very especially blessed, Patricia!!!!!! You are my very, very joy and blessings, my sisterfriend Christian woman, Patricia, For Always!!!!!!!

    Very Warmly and Sincerely For Always, my sisterfriend Christian white woman who you are For Always so, so very much, Patricia, with Peace and Love To You For Always, my sister, and with Blessings and Even More Blessings To You For Always, my so, so very dearest friend,

    Your sisterfriend Christian lesbian black woman in the spirit and solidarity For Always, Sherry Gordon

  2. I use a mobile app on my phone called “Action Path:New Haven”. It let’s me know where trash is in the area that needs to be tidy up. I use the app to recycle and find bikes .

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.