[Cave Hill Cemetery. Louisville, KY]

My Loved One, ninety-three and struggling with dementia, wanted to talk about her memorial service. Again. So I described a scenario she’d stipulated countless times before. Since what I described were her own wishes repeated back to her, she listened, she smiled; she approved. But then, suddenly, her face fell: “Where will I be?” she wondered.

As you may know, correcting someone with dementia is almost never the best approach. But what to say? Especially since My Loved One does not believe in the Hereafter? I prayed for Divine Assistance.

And something came to me, something based on the fact that she and I had also talked, many times, about how she can still feel her husband’s presence—although he died is 2010.

“Hovering,” I was led to say. “That’s where you’ll be. And you’ll be whispering in my ear.”

She smiled again.

I’ve been having sacred conversations with my Loved One.



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1 Comment

  1. Dear Patricia,

    Hi, there, Patricia, my so, so very For Always dearly special and dearly precious For Always sisterfriend of mine who you’re For Always so, so very much!!!!! Wow, I’m just so, so very thrilled, overjoyed, and happy that I am FINALLY able to write and respond with my very heartfelt, detailed, and thorough thought and comment, sister! I was going to write earlier when there was a bad storm in my Iowa City, Iowa which knocked out my Internet Provider for a long time, and there was an outage in my area so I couldn’t write at that time like I wanted to, sisterfriend. Then with the horrible, horrible, horrible news of the two black men being killed in police shootings, and those so very dear police officers being killed by that evil gunman, I was not feeling so well from all of that bad news. I’ve been feeling really exhausted and overwhelmed, sister like with me as a black person and black woman with all of the assaults and killings against black persons but I’m also very, very sad, hurt, and angry over the so very dearest white police officers being killed. Sister, I was having trouble pulling myself away from my TV, computer, and radio listening and watching obsessively to all of the news and I had to make myself shut it off because I’ve just been feeling exhausted and overwhelmed from all of the horrid and so terrible news. Sister, it is wondrously wonderful white women like YOU, Patricia, and other awesome white persons who are my awesome white sisters and brothers, allies, activists, and advocates in the very spirit and solidarity who keep me keeping on, and keep my very faith and hope alive with my very expectancy of hope with my such For Always positive optimism, sister! Sister, YOU are my very joy and blessing, and you just keep me keeping on and coping keeping my very, very heart, and very ,very heart and spirit uplifted with your so, so very dearest love for me as your black sisterfriend, and with your constant prayers and thoughts for me along with your very inspirational so full of such insight, enlightening blog posts articles all of which act like such a healing balm for me, Patricia!!!!!! I have such blessed joy reading your superbly super blog post articles and other very fine and excellent writings, and it is just very joyous for me to respond to your magnificent writings, sister! I just couldn’t wait to write back to you once I had rested up a little bit because YOU are my very, very joy and blessing, sister, and reading your awesome blog post articles and other spectacular writings, and responding back with my thoughts and comments are such a delight for me and so, so very fun, and I so eagerly look forward to doing so, sisterfriend of mine!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! I’m starting to feel better already just starting to write to you and your splendid blog now, Patricia!!!!!!! Yay for YOU, Patricia! Yay for our friendship and sisterhood! Yay for your astounding and very empowering blog post articles and other remarkable writings! Yay!

    Sister, the title of this amazing blog post article is sacred just like your great insight from Spirit as to how to answer the question your Loved One anxiously asked you, and also like your loving conversation with this so, so very dearest and darling Loved One! The picture which you have featured here perfectly adds to and complements the very theme and topic of this awesomely sacred blog post article. Wow, what great guidance and discernment you in such a timely manner received here from Sweet Spirit who is For Always there for each and every one of us and also in our very time of need, Patricia! I For Always pray so much, so hard, and so, so very often for you so, so very special, precious, and blessed Loved One, for YOU, sisterfriend of mine, Patricia, for your dearest husband, David, for all of the rest of your dear family, for your blessedly holy and so pure in heart friendsfamily at your Friends Meeting at Cambridge, and for all of your other friends!!!!!! I’m just so pleased at how Spirit gave you the very words to say when you were on the spot with your dear Loved One’s question, sister! What a sweetly kind and endearing answer to your Loved One’s question. It is very much indeed very true that correcting someone with dementia is almost never the best approach and involves a very loving and patient acceptance. I just so, so very much love and like how you told your dear One, “Hovering. That’s where you’ll be. and you’ll be whispering in my ear.” What a great, soothing, and comforting answer here. You were very much indeed having sacred conversations with your Loved One just as this perfect title to your writing suggests.

    Sister, I believe in the Hereafter in believing that there is our Heaven which awaits us! Believing in the very reality of our Heaven, and that someday in the distant future I will be there gives me such faith, hope, and comfort. I think of Heaven as being a Place where the dreams which I didn’t realize in my life will for certain come true in our Heaven. I think of Heaven as being Perfect and Eternal, forever and forever infinitely without end Peace, Bliss, Love, and such great and awesome fun being with our Spirit God and with all of you who I so, so very much love and cherish, with no strife, no sorrow, no problems, no stress, no discomfort like we have in our imperfect lives, sister. Sister, I don’t believe in hell at least not in the literal sense. I think that our Sweet and Loving Spirit is just so, so very merciful and just could not bear to see any of Her/His creation in permanent torment and torture. I think that what happens when people die who are not going to our Heaven that our Good God confronts them, and when the people who aren’t going to our Heaven see the Beautiful Vision of our Heaven and realize that they aren’t going there that our Sweet and Merciful Spirit puts them into permanent sleep where they no longer have any awareness so that they don’t know that they aren’t in Heaven-that they are just gone in permanent sleep and no longer have any awareness anymore, sister. I think it is punishment enough right before they lose their awareness just knowing in the awful moment seeing our Heaven and the excruciating emotional pain and sorrow in that moment in realizing that they aren’t going to our Heaven. Spirit in Spirit’s mercy ends that moment and ends their awareness in permanent sleep at that moment, sisterfriend. Wow, I so enjoy sharing with you about my feelings, thoughts, comments, and beliefs, sister! You For Always, Patricia, keep me very inspired and uplifted along my walk with Spirit, and YOU, good woman of God who you’re For Always so, so very much help me to be an even better and more blessed Christian woman!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! Thank-you so, so much, Patricia!!!!!!!

    Sister please have such a superbly super Saturday and Sunday with such a wondrously wonderful weekend, and may all of your days be very especially blessed, Patricia!!!!!! Patricia, YOU are just so, so very good for me and such a joy and blessing!!!!!! Now I feel even better and brighter, and even more inspired, renewed, re-energized, reinvigorated, and rejuvenated from writing to you, sister!!!!!! I KNEW that I’d feel better after writing to you, Patricia, and your very uplifting blog!!!!! Yay!!!!!!! You help me because your are my very special and precious friend and sister, and such a wondrously wonderful white anti-racist woman, and you just keep this black woman keep on keeping on keeping my very faith and hope alive with such faith and expectancy of hope with my For Always positive optimism!!!!!! Yay yay yay yay!!!!!! Thank-you so, so much, my sweet sisterfriend of mine, Patricia!!!!!! You are just the very best and the greatest, and the very, very epitome of such very overall awesomeness, Patricia!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!

    Very Warmly and Sincerely For Always, my sisterfriend For Always Christian Quaker white woman who you’re For Always so, so very much, Patricia, with Such Peace and Love To You For Always, my sister, and with Such Blessings and Even More Blessings To You For Always my friend,

    Your sisterfriend Christian black woman For Always and For Always in the very spirit and solidarity, Sherry Gordon in Iowa City, Iowa

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