Being Grammy

Reading “The Granddaughter Necklace” at Grammy’s house, August, 2018

For the past week I’ve been “Grammy.” That this delightful grandma-derivation is both something my beloved granddaughter began calling me one day, but can also mean prize-winning musicality, makes me very happy. Being Grammy makes me very happy— in the same way I feel whenever I am doing what is truly asked of me. Why is that?

What is it about being a grandmother that feels so “in the place just right”? For starters, spending time with the children of my children is a non-stop intimation of mortality! As Grammy, I am ever-aware that, yup; I am going to die. I. Just. Always. Am.

This fundamental realization immediately prompts a couple of questions: Okay, then, Grammy. So how do you want to spend this time with this child? And what do you want this child to remember about you?

So, yes, I am probably My Best Self as Grammy but, honestly? The role—which, for me, blessedly, also means being retired—allows that. Having cleared my calendar of all but the most essential duties and responsibilities when my grandchildren come to visit, Grammy time is pretty leisurely. You want to dawdle over breakfast, spend all morning in your jammies? No worries. (I could go on and on about this! But won’t.)

And what do I want this child to remember about me? My stories. Stories about when this child’s mother was a little girl; yes. Of course. But stories, too, about when I was a child; how different the world was, then. For I learned from my own, gifted, story-teller Grandma what a blessing it is to look at one’s own life as the next installment of an ongoing, mysterious, amazing story. To understand how we stand on the shoulders of those who came before us.

And, yes, looking into the eyes of my beloved grandchildren, I know I am looking into The Future. And ask myself: what am I, Grammy, called to do?





Join the Conversation


  1. Dear Patricia,

    Hello, there, Patricia, and greetings and salutations to you and to you AND FOR VERY ESPECIALLY FOR YOU FOR ALWAYS, my awesomely precious and dearly special FOR ALWAYS soul sistahfriend Christian Quaker woman who you’re FOR ALWAYS so, so very much!!!!! WOW, Patricia, WOW!!!!!! WOW here!!!!! AWWWWWW, oh, how I so love when you share so, so very sweetly about your adorable and precious grandchildren and all of your beloved family!!!!!!! AWWWWW, oh, I so love all of this very interesting, fascinating, riveting, and fun-filled, fantastic blog post article here!!!!!! What a joy, blessing, and such a delight to learn more about you and your darling family and all of your great adventures!!!!!!! Sister, I struggle sometimes with insomnia and physical discomfort(UGH!!!!!!) so instead of continuing to toss and turn to no avail I thought that I’d feel better writing to absolutely AWESOME YOU, Patricia, and your wonderful, empowering blog! WOW, how fabulous that you’ve been Grammy this past week with your visiting grandchildren! How wonderful! What a great name your dearest granddaughter has so sweetly and lovingly bestowed upon you here, sister! This is just very cool and so darling that being Grammy makes you so, so very happy in the same manner doing what is truly asked of you makes you feel. WOW!!!!!! WOW here!!!!! What deeply spiritual and keenly attuned words you share and declare very graciously and generously here for all of us as you ask and answer that question as to how your being awesome Grammy connects you to your eventual mortality when you graduate to our Heaven, Patricia. Then you also think of the love you’re so preciously showering your darling grandchildren with as well as the legacy you are passing along to them straight from your so, so very special, precious, beautiful, and sweet heart and spirit, my friend! I’ve been thinking about my own mortality as well. I’ve been thinking that now I’m middle-aged being 56 and that in fourteen or so years I’ll be in my seventies and how that seems closer to happening than it did let’s say like when I was in my twenties, thirties, and forties. Then I go on to think that with my seventies only being fourteen or so years away I only have so many years after that to live if I’m guesstimating my life expectancy correctly. Sister, I just so love and appreciate these deep questions you are asking yourself as you percolate on what you’re leaving for your dearest grandchildren with your sweet and all-encompassing love for them. YOU ARE for sure providing for them such huge and very, very many loving and cherished memories of YOU and your love for each other and the great times you will have had together that they will have had with their dear Grammy. YOU’RE asking yourself very many important and major questions. I just love how Grammy time is leisurely. I can just see and envision in my imagination what grandly great and awesome time you are all having together sharing in your very heartfelt and heartwarming love for one another. YOU’RE giving the very special gift and blessing of your stories just like your amazing grandmother did for you and your remarkable brother. Your superb grandchildren are going to be standing on your shoulders some day just like the words from the beautiful song from one of the powerful links which you’ve very graciously and generously feature and include in this awe-inspiring blog post article here. What so, so very cool in spirit and Spirit words here when you wisely and aptly share and declare, “…what a blessing it is to look at one’s own life as the next installment of an ongoing, mysterious, amazing story.” Such so, so very true words so chock full of such sagacity here, sistahfriend. My very heart and spirit leapt for such joy and soared as you very sweetly and adorably share and declare here that as you into the eyes of your beloved granddaughter you readily realize that you are looking into The Future. I just so love here as you go on to say and ask yourself, “…what am I, Grammy, called to do?” This is such a compelling and pertinent question here, sisterfriend!!!!! You ARE looking into the future, sister and friend of mine and ours, Patricia!!!!! YOU have such deep love and earnestness for all of your precious grandchildren, all of your beloved family, and, in fact, for all people, sistahfriend!!!!!! WOW, I so, so much always enjoy learning more about you and your very special family, sistah Patricia!!!! I think of my maternal great-grandmother. I have some loving and cherished memories of her and of my darling maternal grandmother as well. When I was growing my maternal great-grandmother and I would very frequently watch and listen to the Cleveland Indians’ baseball games. I receive my love of baseball, and of those Cleveland Indians from her. Her husband, my great-grandfather in June 1965 took my two older brothers, Joe, 10, and Tony, 9, to the Cleveland Indians’ baseball game at the then stadium, the old, former Cleveland Municipal Stadium that was torn down in the early 1990s when the new, current stadium was built being originally named Jacobs Field and then renamed Progressive Field. As those three were watching the game at some point Joe and Tony tried to wake up our great-grandfather thinking that he had fallen asleep. It turned out that the dear darling had died as he was there watching the game with my two older brothers. I was 3 in June 1965 but I have and excellent memory and very, very many early childhood memories and I remember him so, so very lovingly with such cherished memories. I’ve been seeing and hearing about how hot the Boston Red Sox are this season and that they have the best record in all of Major League baseball. WOW!!!!! WOW here!!!!!! This is just awesome, my friend!!!!!

    WOW, what a perfect title for this very lovely blog post article here which is such a delight with such a perfect, picture-perfect picture accompanying it! AWWWWWW, oh, how I so, so very much love here how YOU’VE as usual as always once again as ever very graciously and generously feature and include here such eye-opening links for all of us to so enjoy, Patricia!!!!!! What great information all of these links contain here, my sister Patricia!!!!! I just so love reading and learning more about the book by this talented and gifted author. I, too, have ancestry from Africa and Irish ancestry like this cool author mentioned. Several years ago I had my DNA sample tested at and it said that I’m 12% European with some Irish ancestry. This black woman is just so, so very thrilled, overjoyed, happy, and glad to find this out-what a sheer and immense joy and blessing, my sister Patricia!!!!! 🙂 <3 We have sung the very emboldening, bountiful song, Simple Gifts, at church service at my very special church here where I live in my Iowa City, Iowa at my Faith United Church Of Christ. What a joyous blessings listening to this very uplifting and inspiring song and the other inspirational one, and reading through all of the very eye-catching links as well, sistah Patricia!!!! WOW!!!!! WOW here!!!! I thank-YOU for all of this-what a vast resource of such outstanding information here,, Patricia!!!!!! 🙂 <3

    AWWWWWWW, Patricia, YOU ARE just the very greatest and the best!!!!!! WOW!!!!! YAY!!!!!! YAY for YOU, Patricia!!!!! WOW!!!!! YAY!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!! YAY for our very sistahhood and friendship, Patricia!!!!! WOW!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!! I thank-YOU and God CONTINUALLY FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR VERY PRESENCE IN MY VERY LIFE, Patricia!!!!!!! 🙂 <3 I just love and cherish YOU so, so very much, my dear, dearest, precious, and darling, Patricia FOR ALWAYS!!!!!! 🙂 <3 God so, so very much loves and cherishes YOU A WHOLE LOT AND A WHOLE BUNCH FOR ALWAYS, Patricia, AND SO DO I, TOO, SO, SO VERY MUCH LOVING AND CHERISHING YOU A WHOLE LOT AND A WHOLE BUNCH FOR ALWAYS!!!!! 🙂 <3 By the time you read this it'll be Sunday so please have such a superbly superb Sunday, a wondrously wonderful rest of your weekend and week ahead, and may all of your very days be so, so very especially blessed!!!!! 🙂 <3 My friend, YOU ARE my very life's and eternal joy and blessing FOR ALWAYS, Patricia, my absolutely WONDERFUL sister!!!!!! 🙂 <3

    Very Warmly and Sincerely FOR ALWAYS, my so, so very FOR ALWAYS awesomely special and dearly precious FOR ALWAYS soul sistahfriend Christian Quaker white woman who YOU'RE FOR ALWAYS so, so very much, Patricia, sisterfriend of mine, with My AND God's VERY PEACE AND LOVE FOR YOU FOR ALWAYS, sister of mine, AND with SUCH BLESSINGS AND SUCH VERY EVEN MORE BLESSINGS FOR YOU FOR ALWAYS, friend of mine, 🙂 <3

    YOURS FOR ALWAYS soul sistahfriend Christian black woman AND FOR ALWAYS IN THE VERY GREAT SPIRIT OF UNITY AND SOLIDARITY, Sherry Gordon in Iowa City, Iowa 🙂 <3

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.